Bereavement and Memory
Yahrzeit and Yizkor
You will receive an email from our office informing you of the approach of the yahrzeit (the yearly anniversary) of your loved one’s death. You will be invited to come to Shabbat services nearest the anniversary in order to hear their name read aloud and say kaddish with the community. You may also light a memorial candle at home.
Yizkor is a memorial service that occurs four times a year (on Yom Kippur afternoon, on Shemini Atzeret/Simchat Torah, at the conclusion of Passover, and on Shavuot). At Woodlands, we hold this service on the festival morning (with the exception of Yom Kippur). It is a contemplative, beautiful service and the perfect time to check in with yourself and the ongoing legacy of your loved one.
Our Memorial Wall
Twice a year, Woodlands adds names to our beautiful outdoor Memorial Wall and dedicates them during a Yizkor Memorial service. Whether your loved one’s grave is near or far, the Memorial Wall serves as a peaceful place to visit in order to remember your loved one.
If you wish to have a name(s) inscribed on our Memorial Garden Wall, click here to fill out the form.
The price for inscription is $800 per name. Space(s) may be reserved on the Wall for future inscriptions. If you have already reserved a space, the price in effect at the time of the reservation will continue to be honored. All names (whether they are to be inscribed or reserved) must be listed on this form. Payment must be made in full at the time for both current and future inscriptions of names. This information is required by the engravers so that appropriate space may be allocated for future inscriptions.
Any questions, contact memorialwall@wct.org.
Giving Tzedakah
It is traditional to give money to a charitable organization in memory of a loved one. In this way, we keep their legacy alive. We have many funds at Woodlands that may support something that was important to the person you are remembering - such as social justice causes and learning (from children through adults). Click here to make a donation.
I’m still grieving. Is there anyone or anything to help?
Grieving is not a linear process. Everyone's grief is different. Depending on the day–or even the moment–it may feel like anger, sadness, numbness, or a host of other emotions. There’s no roadmap, but there are some common experiences, and some people find it helpful to hear about how others have coped with loss. Here are some resources we suggest:
Bereavement Services at the Westchester Jewish Community Services - Short-term bereavement counseling and support groups for people living in Westchester County
Eluna National Bereavement Resource Guide - For families and children impacted by grief and addiction. Link to online directory of grief organizations and programs.
Soaring Spirits International - Networking and resources for widowed people.
The Compassionate Friends - personal comfort, hope, and support to every family experiencing the death of a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better assist the grieving family.
Dougy Center - Support for children and young adults who are grieving.
Books, Websites, Videos, and Podcast
Videos
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TED Talk "We don't move on from grief, we move forward with it" by Nora McInerny
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TED Talk "When Someone You Love Dies, There is no such thing as moving on" by Kelly Lynn
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"Happiness in Dark Times" by Maria Sirois
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"Colors of Grief and Healing" by Sue Knight Deutsch
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Speaking Grief, a YouTube video exploring the transformative experience of losing a family member in a grief-avoidant society. It validates grief as a normal, healthy part of the human experience rather than a problem that needs to be “fixed.”
Podcasts
All There Is with Anderson Cooper on CNN Podcasts. Anderson Cooper takes us on a deeply personal exploration of loss and grief. He starts recording while packing up the apartment of his late mother Gloria Vanderbilt. Going through her journals and keepsakes, as well as things left behind by his father and brother, Cooper begins a series of emotional and moving conversations about the people we lose, the things they leave behind, and how to live on - with loss, with laughter, and with love.
Books
The Grief Process
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On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, David Kessler , et al., 2014.
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Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, David Kessler, 2019
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A Short Course in Happiness after Loss (and Other Dark Difficult Times), Maria Sirois
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A to Z Healing Toolbox: A Practical Guide for Navigating Grief and Trauma with Intention, Susan Hannifin-MacNab
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When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pema Chödrön
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How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies, Dr. Therese Rando
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Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons, Gary Roe
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Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief, Dr. Joanne Cacciatore
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A Short Course in Happiness After Loss: (and Other Dark, Difficult Times), Maria Sirois
The Jewish Mourning Process
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Making Loss Matter, Rabbi David Wolpe
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When Bad Things Happen to Good People, Harold Kushner
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Tears of Sorrow, Seeds of Hope: A Jewish Spiritual Companion for Infertility and Pregnancy Loss, Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin
Helping Children
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A Parent’s Guide to Raising Grieving Children, Phyllis R. Silverman and Madelyn Kelly
Helping Young Adults
Sudden Loss and Trauma
Death of a Sibling
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Healing the Adult Sibling’s Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas After Your Brother or Sister Dies
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Surviving the Death of a Sibling: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies
Adult loss of a parent
Death of a Spouse
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Traveling with Ghosts: A Memoir Shannon Leone Fowler
Supporting Others
Memoirs
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A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis
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The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion